Never Let Numbers Suck The Joy Out Of Your Awesomeness

I’ve broken up with my scales, because quite frankly, they were sucking the joy out of my awesomeness.

I’ve always had a war with the scales. What the numbers represent. Berating myself if they weren’t going down, even when I was starving myself on 1200 calorie diets and 500 calorie workouts, daily. Worried that I was too fat, too heavy, and the numbers were too high. That stops, today.

Yesterday, I went on a date day with my 2 boys. We saw Guardians of the Galaxy (AWESOMENESS personified!) Before we left, I got dressed in my regular attire of jeans and tee, put on some makeup, and I felt really great. I realised the feeling did not come from being ‘skinny'(which I am not), it did not come from being my ‘ideal weight for my height’ (which I am not), it did not come from starving myself to fit in a calorie count(which I am not). It came from my ATTITUDE. I looked past the mirror, and inside myself (how very cliche!) and realised my self-worth is so much more than numbers. It was the first day I’ve felt that  training plan I am doing through Operation Move event training is actually making a difference, inside and out. 

I am by no means at my ideal weight for height as per all those people that tell you you should be, and I’m okay with that. What I am though, is healthy. I don’t have any health ailments. I have the ability to go out and run long distances, 10km and beyond. I am able to give blood when needed. I am HEALTHY. I am currently training for the Tour De Tambourine 10k event in November, as well as the Spartan Race in October. None of the excess fat I am carrying will stop me from doing that!  I am so sick of seeing all the fat-shaming that is going on at the moment. I saw an article online today that talked about ‘fat people’, and I was horrified. The thing is, there is no such thing as ‘fat people’. There are ‘people’, and some have excess fat. Some also don’t have much fat, and yet, they too are shamed for being ‘skinny’. I’m a little frustrated, and pissed. I’ve always been the ‘fat one’, or the ‘chubby one’ and it effected me for a very long time. I’m by no means where I was when I was younger, but I have had the ability to carry and birth three beautiful children in this body!!! Why do we need to label people as fat?! A quote that has stuck with me (I can’t remember the source) is…..

 

So anyway, I just wanted to remind you…. not to step on the scales and let that determine the joy, and mood you will be in today. You are Awesome! You will always be awesome! Take care of your health, first and foremost. Appearance is secondary. Next time someone calls you fat, punch them in the face (okay, maybe don’t, but what you can do, is IGNORE them.) Your self worth is more valuable than someone else’s opinon. Be You. BeYouTiful! Now..go forth and Be Awesome!

 

EDIT: The adult jazz class I am doing is totally rocking this song right now!! It’s AWESOME!!!!!

 

P.S On a completely unrelated topic: I loved the new Doctor Who!!!!!

R U OK? – It’s OK To Say NO

Today is once again, R U OK day in Australia. This initiative started as a movement to raise awareness and open channels to help people struggling with life. According to the RUOK website www.RUOKDAY.com:

The R U OK? Foundation is a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to encouraging all people to regularly and meaningfully ask ‘are you ok?’ to support those struggling with life.

R U OK?Day is our national day of action on the second Thursday of September (12 September 2013), and dedicated to reminding people to regularly check in with family and friends. We also have Resources for You to use throughout the year to help you ask ‘are you ok?’ regularly of family, friends and colleagues.   

You might remember that last year I wrote a blog post about it, and at the time, I was NOT OK. You can read all about the reasons here: R U OK 2012.

Since then I have had many struggles, up and down, and I am still working through them, but for today, I can say, “I am OK”. Who knows what tomorrow brings. My anxiety peaks and waves, comes and goes. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world, and some days I feel like I want to hide out in my room all day and not talk to anyone.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because I want to ask YOU the question: ARE YOU OK? R U OK? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? Nothing is ever black, and white. I know nothing can ever be solved with a cup of tea, but it sure can ease a burden! Let me be your tea-maker. I am HERE for you. I will listen, I will not judge, and I will not set out to solve the worlds problems. Sometimes all you want is a friend to listen and acknowledge, not judge, not try to solve the issues, or tell you where you might be going wrong. I am your friend.

If you don’t want to talk to me, just know that You are NOT alone. With the progress in social media and the access we all have to the internet, I have found that you are open to a world of opportunity and hope. If you have anxiety about being in public situations, you can be comfortable in your own home and reach out. If you don’t like the way you look and it makes you depressed, you can be behind a computer screen asking for advice. You don’t have to put yourself in situations that may cause you to be even more “not OK”.

So, today, at this point in time, why am I feeling OK? I think it has something to do with finally seeing a psychologist. It took me a couple of goes, and it’s not always first one is the best choice, but the one I have been seeing was not trying to read my head, or solve the worlds problems of why I am the way I am. We were simply letting it be and working with how we can work with that. It’s hard work, and it’s not all roses and sunshine, but the one thing I have learned is, Everyone needs someone to talk to. By talking about my issues with someone who was non-judgmental, my whole attitude changed. I’m no longer holding onto feelings inside myself, and no longer taking it out on my loved ones. Again, not always having great days, and yes I regress, but I know that I’m getting better. You can too. All you need to do is ask the question.

I hope you are aware that you are not alone. You will be OK. There is help available. If you go to one doctor and they say they don’t believe in ‘depression/anxiety’ then go to a different doctor. Start doing Yoga (I know it sounds naff, but it did help me!). Start exercising, even just a 15 minute walk outside in the fresh air will clear your mind and help.  If you want to send me a private message, then please do. My email is: sydneygen04@yahoo.com .

I’ve listed some resources that you can go and check out and maybe gain a little further information and maybe some help?

RESOURCES:

Beyond Blue

R U OK Day

Dancing with the Black Dog – A blog

and just remember:

Doing Things I Said I Would Never Do….

So basically, I’ve gone and done TWO things I said I’d never do!

ONE: I joined a gym (and I’ve been going!!!!)

TWO: I have been running on the treadmill (and not hating it!)

Slinky on a Treadmill…. your argument is invalid…

We’ve recently had one of those 24 hour gyms open in the neighbourhood and I know a lot of people who have joined it. I always said, “Oh I can’t join a gym, I’ve got no time..or … What would I do with the kids? By the time it’s evening, I’m stuffed!!”  So when I saw another local gym set up a booth at the local shopping centre I was intrigued… because the big sign said “LADIES ONLY AREA” and “CHILD MINDING” … ding ding ding!!! Two definite things that have always made me err at the thought of a gym. I curiously went up and spoke to the girl, and was surprised at all they were offering! Some great deals on joining, no need to pay until Spring, child minding included, reasonable hours, good location, classes at perfect times, and NOT THAT Expensive!!!!  If ever I was looking for a sign, I thought I’d found it! I took the information and went home to discuss with my husband. It would be a decision that needed to be jointly made, and the budget adjusted accordingly. He was very supportive and agreed I should go for it! So, a couple of days later I signed up! That was Friday… I was excited to get rid of the excess 10kg I’ve put on in the last year (gasp…yup….I’ve let myself slip A LOT!). I want to fit back into the jeans I have just waiting to be worn!! I want to feel better, and to not be so lethargic.I started on Monday, and besides a minor hiccup yesterday (Wednesday) of dropping a ceramic bowl on my toe and my knee being sore from a little hyper extension on the elliptical (btw elliptical, we are no longer friends) I have been going every day, straight after school drop off, so there’s no excuses!! The girls enjoy going to the children’s corner and it has everything they could want or need, including a friend they already know!!!

That brings me to the number two thing. I always said Treadmills were boring… I guess I said that when it wasn’t Winter, and it wasn’t cold and rainy outside!!!! I’ve eased back into my running by starting the C2K program (Couch to 5km) although I skipped straight to week 2. I’m not a hater of the treadmill anymore, and I know that once I’ve shed a few kilos and not as heavy, I’ll feel much better about hitting the road again. I still like being outdoors, and feel I run farther when I am, but for the meantime, I’ll use the nice cosy gym ones (equipped with tvs and internet!!).

So there you go. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone and I’m gymming it. I haven’t even been to the ladies area yet! I’ve done some ab work in the general area, and just stayed in my little zone!! Everyone is there for the same reason, so yeah… I don’t even care!  Hopefully, in a months time I’ll start seeing significant changes. My mind is already starting to swirl itself back into possibilities. Making things a lot clearer. I’m excited again. I have my fitness eval and program write up next week… then we can get onto some strength activities, as well as losing the fat! Now.. if I could JUST get onto that housework that forever evades me.. or do I evade it?!!

In other news.. I have “The Greatest Athlete” obstacle course coming up next weekend. I’m scared witless!! It’s going to be fun, but Oh My!!!! Definitely the “weekend warrior” here! I’m also pretty pumped about the following weekend when the WHOLE family completes the The Swisse Color Run ! Hubby and I did it last year and had a load of fun throwing colour at each other, we thought this year it would be fun to take the kids and let them have fun too!! I’m off to get some ‘goggles’ for the girls and maybe a drop sheet for the double jogger pram!? I’ll update with pics once these events have happened!! In the mean time…. thanks for reading!

Be Safe – Sparkle & Shine – Be Happy

Why I quit Facebook and Booze ….and other random stuff

I’m not a Quitter, I am GREAT! The Great Facebook and Booze Dry Spell of the year!

Hello, my name is SydneyGen and I haven’t had a drink in 12 days…. Wait.. wrong forum!

Actually, it’s true though!! I am still going strong in Dry July and have to say… not missing it at all too much!!  I thought it would be harder to put down the wine and vodka (mmm….vodka…….) and not have a drink, but it truly has been easier than I anything I’ve ever done realised. It’s also made me aware of the fact I think I was drinking ‘just because’ before, and that kinda takes the enjoyment away!  I’ve replaced wine with water (There’s something awfully backwards about that statement!!) and know the health benefits are rockin. So far I’ve started exercising more *slowly first, but more than before* and I’ve started watching the scales decline… (hoorah, finally.. although I had a sneaky suspicion this would occur once I stopped) I am glad my minds at a place now where I can do this. I have ‘tried’ in the past, but absolutely didn’t pass because I wasn’t strong enough to give in to temptation. The Aussie culture is definitely one laced with booze, but that’s not a bad thing (in my opinion), it’s the responsibility of booze that needs to remembered and reenforced.  I am about to go off on a tangent here, because that my dear friends, is my brain!!! Anywho… the other night I was flicking through the tv channels (which is rare in itself, I barely get time to sit down at night, let alone watch tv…whoooops, there I go again!) and I came across a show on the ABC called

Shitsville Express with Joe Hildebrand.

If you haven’t heard of it, it’s this:  Each week, Joe Hildebrand rubs the noses of our four bright young things in Shitsville’s darkest and grubbiest corners, examining issues including the explosion of alcohol fuelled violence, the gambling epidemic, Australia’s substandard transport system, the current housing crisis, and the pros and cons of coal seam gas mining. And at the end of it, all four will put their ideas to a former Prime Minister who’s been to Shitsville and back many a time, and who knows the difficulty of making change happen. 

So the reason I’m bringing this up is because the episode I caught just happened to be on alcohol fueled violence. I sat in astonishment at the awful scenes of women barely wearing anything, stumbling around drunk. Men beating each other up, and blood pouring everywhere. A boy who was only 16, drunk, showing gang signs and looking for a fight. And I was sad. So, So, So, sad. What has happened with our youth? What has happened to parents instilling values, decorum? I remember being a fresh-faced 18 year old in Tassie, and stumbling through the streets of Hobart at 2-3-4am and walking between bars, but there was never violence involved. It was usually a bit of hippy love to a passer-by, a hug and a squeal to a stranger, or a friend you hadn’t seen in a while, but never violence. There were no brawls, no beatings, and certainly nobody dying from being king-hit as they walked out of bar. The issue bought up on the tv show is, “what can we do about this”, and I seriously don’t have the answer. My mother taught me to drink responsibly, and if I’m going to get shitty drunk, still be a lady about it. OH, and WHAT EVEN is this ‘pre-loading’ these people are doing at home. Drinking a bottle of alcohol and THEN going out? (I of course blame the cost of alcohol for this! We used to go out for $50 and be able to shout rounds to people and still be happily drunk by the end of the night!)  If you’re going to drink at home, make a night of it!!! If you’re out to pick up, WHY do you need to be drunk?? You most likely won’t remember it!! Ugh, I think I’ve ranted, for far too long!! (I do that, too!) So … anyway.. my advice to the youth and drinkers of today…. drink, have fun, be merry, and keep your mitts to yourself. You’re giving booze (for the rest of us responsible people) a bad name, and making it cost FAR TOO MUCH! I’m not sure what I’ll do when August 1st comes around. I don’t even think I’ll notice it. I have 2 assessments due that time anyway, so booze will be the last thing on my mind!! We’ll just wait and see.

Right, now that I’m off that soapbox I’ll just briefly go into my hiatus from Facebook!

Two uni assessments due, lots of reading to do,  housework to be done, and what do I find myself doing? Glued to my Facebook feed. Clicking likes to win prizes I’ll NEVER win, playing awesome stupid addictive games, and being sucked in to a time vortex. Something had to be done, so I cut it. Cut it out. I have enjoyed Facebook for many benefits, but mostly for being able to share one image, one thought, a useless status update with many people. It has connected me with people from my past, and present, and has allowed me to stay in touch with friends who live far away. BUT… it’s a time waster. It really is. You think you can just check one thing, and the next thing you know it’s school pick up time, the tea is cold, and you’re rushing to get things done and be places on time. Since I’ deactivated my account I’ve managed to get a lot done. Uni is caught up, and I feel good. I do miss it, but not in a life is so much worse now I’m not on it way. The one thing I have realised is the amount of businesses, and bands, and people in general, who are using Facebook as their platform for promotion! I’m still on Twitter (and Instagram – I need SOMEWHERE to picspam my kids!), but Facebook is ‘The way’ to do business nowadays I guess? I even hear on the radio, ‘check us out on Facebook’ and I cringe and think UGH, why can’t they just have a good website that can be browsed and updated. What has the Zuckerburger done to us??? What’s next?? Who knows…. but yeah… a Facebook break has been good. I have a mobile phone, and anyone who’s important will know the number, so who needs an FB message to let me know if somethings happening, or someone’s pregnant!! I’ve disconnected, to reconnect!

So WOW… this post was epic and also about not much, basically, a common theme on this blog!! I hope you’re all well. I have almost survived School Holidays – which deserves it’s own blog post – maybe next time I have a spare five minutes!!

Take Care of Yourself.  Shine & Sparkle (and drink responsibly, and with class *in a glass)

Dry July

I’m going to tackle one of my biggest vices. .. alcohol!  Here’s how I decided to do “dry july”….So I’m sitting in the RSL (that’s returned services league for those who didn’t know) and I’m waiting for my food in the bistro (mr6 is upstairs at a disco, which subsequently is producing a few injuries!)and I look around at all the glasses of wine and beer and for the first time I thought. ..hmm. .. What would it be like to give up wine for a bit… so that’s it. .. I’m going to do it.  I’m not going to over think it, I’m not going to over analyse it (which by the way, I am brilliant at! !!) I’m just going to do it. I’m thinking of the health benefits as I well, I want to be where I was 12 months ago, which was 9 kgs lighter and happier! !

So, tomorrow is the 1st of July.  I  like the way Dry July rhymes (!!!!) So we’re going to do this. … One day at a time. ….

until we meet again….

Have you ever attempted to give up something?  Have you ever done dry July?

Yoga, Therapy & Teen Wolf .. the week of new things!

Hello there!!

Wow, what a week is has been!! A week of new things, a week of changes, a week that was….

So this week, thanks to a great Living Social deal I was able to try my hand at Yoga for the very first time. I say the first time, because I have a feeling that the Kids Cosmic Yoga on YouTube (which oh my gosh, is still so much fun! Check it out and do it WITH your kids – or by yourself! ) doesn’t really count! I went in not sure what to think. The only experience I’ve really had with Yoga is watching it in a scene in a movie, which usually involves characters posing and talking….. the complete opposite of what we did. I loved it. It was relaxing, but challenging at the same time. Making the connection between the body and mind was an amazing feet (get it..feet..hehehe) ok, so I meant Feat and it was pointed out to me that I typo’d, but yeah.. we’ll go with feet..who knew you had to spread em that far!!!!!  I am used to working out and doing “cardio” so the burn usually comes from pushing myself at a high pace. So I was quite surprised that when I went into some of the poses ‘lunges’ that I was able to hold them for so long as my thighs burned like crazy! The Yoga instructor was very clever at assisting with the progress of pushing the mind. Although I did have a bit of trouble calming down the chatter, I let myself go, because it was my first time …. I came out of the hour and a half session feeling absolutely relaxed and amazing. I am excited to return and continue on a personal journey of stretching the body and the mind to more than I am now…..  and maybe I will not be thinking about the wine at the end… and the crazy chatter will disappear..

Speaking of trying to get the chatter to disappear.. you may remember a little bit ago, I wrote about the RUOK day and how much I tend to struggle from day to day. After a lot of soul searching, I finally made the leap and went for some therapy. Whilst I won’t go into details of all that was said, I will say that it’s amazing what happens when you see someone you feel comfortable with, and you feel is actually listening.  With some ‘homework’ to do, I am hoping that the coming week is going to be better, and the future is looking brighter. If you are struggling, I urge you to seek help, in any form, whether it be confiding in a friend, a loved one, or a professional. In Australia, if you go to your GP, you can get a referral that will give you a Medicare rebate, so there are No excuses.  I definitely look forward to the positive changes that are sure to come out of it all.

And as for Teen Wolf… well… I’m late to the party, but just started watching….. Enjoying it, and can’t seem to stop watching, although I’m only on Season 1 and they are now showing Season 3….  Not much else to say, so I’ll just leave this here …

That’s it from me. Just thought I’d pop in for a little hello, and make it known that we are all struggling within ourselves. Remember, never judge someone from how they look, or what you don’t know… We’re all making our way in life, our way….  Until next time…. Shine Bright Like a Diamond in a big fat ring on your finger *smiles*