Emotions—how one 8 letter word can mean so many things, or have such a huge impact on me is amazing. I feel that this week I’ve been emotionally fragile and on that ever riding non-stop rollercoaster of life, where the highs and lows never seem to fade.
I often go through and re-read my posts in the blog, to see how I’m going and where I’ve come from. I’m glad I do that, and I’m glad I have this to make it possible. I’ve found that some of the things I’ve written, I’ve actually forgotten I was feeling or experiencing. I also noticed that at the beginning of the program and blog I was relying heavily on expressing emotions. You can see that from the little icons I would put at the bottom of the post.
Although I might say “I’m alright,” quite often it doesn’t mean internally I am. That was until this week. ((TMI warning)) It’s TTOTM (If you have to ask, you must be male!!?!?) and I’ve been feeling extremely flat and blah (refer to last post). I often get extremely lethargic and am in a lot of pain and do not feel enthusiastic about life at all. It’s one of those weeks of curling into a ball and sleeping and escaping. I’m happy to report that’s the old me! I did pout a little, feel a little sorry for myself and do a little scale hopping this week *slaps self on hand-we talked about this!* and I saw that the scales were moving in the up, up, up direction. Instead of pouting and getting shitty about it, I put on my tunnel vision and knew that lazing around, feeling sorry for my self would do nothing but make those numbers stay there, so I got off my arse and exercised. I kept it pretty light this week, but I still moved. I paid particular attention to the food I ate. I’m human; I’m normal. I had those terrible TTOTM cravings and wanted sugary, sweet, fatty useless food. My weekly confession: I tried 1/12th (yes, a tiny smidgen) of a piece of choc iced sprinkle donut that was bought over by a friend (who didn’t know any better). That one tiny bite was DISGUSTING! I couldn’t believe that I didn’t enjoy it at all. It was gross and the flavours sat on my tongue in a most unpleasant way. BOOM—at least we can tick that crappy food off my want list now! Last night I grabbed a handful of ‘hot chips’ that were in front of me (5 in total) and ate them, thinking they’d be yummy and delicious. Anyone who was around last night, when I did this, knows what happened. They were soooo gross. Even grosser than the donut! I felt oil in my mouth and I felt like I’d swallowed a cup full of oil and it sat in my stomach. I actually got nauseous and wanted to go and throw up. Lesson learned. My body is telling me I don’t need it and my mind has finally clicked.
You may “think” you want it, and the emotions that we all experience will convince as that we “want” it, but our body doesn’t “need” it and soon, you won’t even like it. How exciting, right? I think so!
Basically, what I’ve been rambling on about is the fact that Michelle says to “take the emotion out of it” — become disciplined and conscious of what you’re eating. Nowhere in the program does it say you can’t enjoy food. I enjoy food, quite a lot. I never thought I’d say I was looking forward to Lentil Spaghetti Bolognaise, but it’s one of my favourite menu items. Plan, be organised and you won’t be placed in a situation where you might make bad choices.
The other most important thing I’ve learned from this week is to Never Give Up. It’s true to say that when things seem ‘too hard,’ you just want to throw in the towel and give up, say screw it, why bother? It’s quite possible to convince yourself that if the scales don’t move, then it’s not worth it and you’ve just worked out for nothing…..Well there’s a reason to bother and it isn’t just that fact that you’ll feel such a difference in your life. Your body, your attitude, everything will change—for the better. I’m not perfect and I’m not emotionless, but I know a journey worth going on is a journey full of experience and wonders and discovery.
Who wants to know about weigh-in?!?!?
YAY!!!!! Hard work and consistency DOES pay off. I am so excited about the results. I had set myself up to not be emotional if there was no loss, or a gain, because I knew that I was having my ‘off’ week. The results have just made me even more determined. I am 1.2kgs off of a 10kg loss. I’m writing this down to be accountable–I want that 1.2kgs gone next weigh-in! I am also ‘officially’ down 1 pant size. I can fit into pants I haven’t worn in years and the current jeans I have keep falling down. Wooooo!! *throws sparkles in the air–the sprinkley kind, not my new phone!*
Thanks for all the support — I seriously love it and it helps to keep me in check and encourage me. I know that only I can do this and only I can decide what I eat and how I exercise, but I love knowing that there are people out there who might read this and think that if I can do it, they can do it, because quite frankly, it’s true — YOU CAN!!!!!!
And if you have one of those days where things seem like crap and you don’t think you can go on–do this: