Last week I had a severe case of the can’t-be-fucked’s (probably not even a word, but it is in my vocab!)
On reflection, I’m thinking those feelings and the ones I have at the moment are a result of lack of sleep. Who knew sleep was so vital?
For the first time in a long time I went out and enjoyed some mid-week socializing! I attended an EP Launch for a singer I have recently discovered, named Matt Corby. A lot of you may know him from his Australian Idol days, but I didn’t have any idea he was even on the show, up until a few months ago! Anyway, whilst there with friends I indulged in a couple of cocktails. (Thank goodness for the AM work-out!) The cocktails were so yummy! I remember why I love them so much, just not loving the sugar content!!!!! I ended up in bed at 2am and then the next morning was up just after 6 with the kids. It was the beginning of my two days of falling off the wagon.
For the next two days I decided I just ‘couldn’t be bothered’ working out. I have no idea why after 11 weeks my mind was slipping into this, but again, I’m putting it down to lack of sleep. It had been a few days of late nights, early mornings. Luckily, on Saturday I attended a run clinic and was able to learn some pretty valuable techniques on efficient running. Although we didn’t do a lot of practical work, it was enough to kick-start my brain and body into get-back-int0-it mode and I realized that while taking the two days off of training was okay, it wasn’t acceptable as a long-term action. I’ve never ever been a morning person (right, Mum?!) but throughout this program I’ve felt really good about getting up early and getting my workouts over with. This stopped for a few days and I very much enjoyed staying in bed that little while longer!! Unacceptable!
After having the two days off my body was a bit slow to get off the pace. Amazing what happens when you’ve been doing something for so long and then you just stop. Yesterday I finally rid the CBF’s by heading down to the park for a “Pain in the Park” session. I thought it was going to be boxing, but was just as glad that it was an hour circuit workout. Seeing the numbers on the HRM encouraged me to keep going and I felt so much better after it (even if I did still feel really tired). I took off for a quick jog/run around the park and ended up sticking to just under 1km before I realised I probably shouldn’t push myself.
This morning I had to give myself a mental pep-talk and repeat JFDI over and over. It’s the end of the challenge and for some reason I seem to be sabotaging myself by not caring and not wanting to work out. A ridiculous sentiment, considering how far along I’ve come. In the next few weeks as we head into Christmas, we’ll be without the ‘official’ program. Whilst that scares me a little, I know that the mind-set lessons and the knowledge I have gained these last few months will help me to prepare and be organised. The moral of the story is to JUST F***EN DO IT!! Right? Right? YES!!!! Because saying that you’ll just leave it and doing it ‘tomorrow’ will not get the results today….
When I realized I’ve had the CBF’s, I needed to find a way to get myself out of the funk. What was it that would keep me going? I’ve concluded, it’s music. I am loving my re-emergence into the music scene, and especially the folk type music, or any cute guy with a guitar (call me shallow, I say it’s appreciation of talent *nods lots and lots*) I’ve been able to get lost and let my brain shut down and click into go mode by listening to the sweet sounds…And just because you’re here reading this, I feel the need to share some wonderful music with you!
Matt is such a raw and brilliant voice. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting lost in the haunting sounds…
and check out this new guy I also saw and met at the show. An awesome Aussie talent that needs loads of recognition. His songs are powerful and hold such strong messages: Jack Carty
Thanks for reading the mess of words. I thought it important that you know I’m far from perfect and I struggle a lot. The one thing that keeps me going is knowing that during the struggles and the times I just don’t want to go on, I’ve managed to lose over 13.5 kilos. I’m standing taller and I’m smiling more. To me, that alone is worth every struggle and challenge I set myself, both mentally and physically. Don’t forget: If I can do it, so can you!
P.S I felt it important to write this post out and not re-read over it. If I read over it, I would no doubt delete, change or modify what was written. These are my feelings in all their raw glory. For that, I apologise if it’s a bit muddled!!